It is not 1955.
I try to keep rants off my blog, but I’m becoming more and more irritated through the years when comes to assumptions and comments about equality in my (and many people in this young generation) marriage. It’s 2017. We are all equal in and out of marriage.
Never ask someone “who wears the pants in the family”. It is the most outdated and infuriating question. When it comes to my marriage, we both have our own pairs or perfectly fitted pants. We do things equally and balance each other out when one is better at something than the other.
Stop acting surprised when I say Joe does the majority of the cooking. He’s a damn good cook and makes my belly happy. I love to cook too, and I do cook a fair amount of the time, but Joe is the master chef in the family. Ask any of our friends!
Stop acting shocked when you find out I make slightly more money than Joe does. And please, don’t ask how Joe feels about me making more money. It’s offensive, and he’s totally fine with it. He knows I’ve worked hard, and he’s proud of me. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the wife making more money, and there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home dad if it works out that way. Women work hard too, men can take care of kids too. There’s nothing shocking about it.
While we’re on the subject of money, no, I do not spend all my money on clothes and makeup. We split the bills. We both pay mortgage, buy groceries, dog food, etc. I have bills that I pay, he has bills that he pays. We don’t share a bank account, so stop assuming I’m using his hard earned money on myself whenever I want. I don’t know why people think all women are constantly using their husbands money to go get their hair and nails done. Everything we own, we both work equally hard for.
Stop acting like stay at home moms or dads don’t do as much as their working counterparts. I’m not a mother myself, but I have plenty of friends who are. I see their exhaustion. I’ve talked to them about their stress and their daily routines. It’s exhausting just hearing about it. Moms work so damn hard. Being a mom is a 24/7 job, and there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. Just remember that if you are, you are equal to your working significant other. Never feel less than because you don’t make the money or pay the bills. You are a fucking rock star that deserves more than you think you do.
To end things, I just want to thank my amazing husband for treating me with so much respect. We’ve had multiple conversations about everything stated above. We can both appreciate the equality in our marriage. I love how he’s constantly teaching me new things and encouraging me to learn how to check my oil, change my tires, etc. He’s always proud of my accomplishments, and complimenting my strength. We are an amazing team, and he’s never seen me as less than himself because of gender or abilities. We work together at everything, and I think it’s so important in a relationship to be equal. Thanks for taking the time to read my rantings!